Bad Memories
by Username1576
Summary: AU where The Winter Soldier accidentally kills Captain America, and must now deal with the side-effects. A bit of a Steve/Bucky and possible tissue warning. I know it's short. One-shot for now.


**Disclaimer: So, I do not own Captain America or anything affiliated with that. Those belong to Marvel. I am simply a FanFic writer.**

Rodgers launched backwards as The Winter Soldier continued to advance toward him, raining punches down on the Captain. Captain America refused to fight back, instead choosing to try and talk to someone. The Winter Soldier barely registers that this person seems to be him, but he immediately brushes it away- he has no idea who this "Bucky" is, and doesn't wish to either. Then, Rodgers had to go and say something incredibly stupid. "Then finish it," the idiot gasps out, "'Cause I'm with you 'til the end of the line."

The Winter Soldier's brain goes blank, and he feels a white hot burning race across his mind, rushing to unlock old memories, and the soldier has to drop the soldier in order to clutch at his head and scream at the utter pain of it. In his conflict, he doesn't notice that the Captain's unconscious body is falling through a gap on the hellicarrier, and is now rapidly falling into the Potomac River. He is left alone to his fragments while the carrier itself tries to fall as well.

There's a never ending supply of little fragments in The Winter Soldiers Mind where he keeps catching glimpses of a short, skinny kid, with bad health and a temper. He mostly remembers a small fluttering in his chest every time he and the boy were alone, and a burning protection racing through him every time they weren't. He remembers that he had always referred to the kid as Punk, and that the kid would always smile back and referred to him as idiot.

Eventually, after familiar fragments of war and being a prisoner, Captain America replaces the short kid. The protectiveness still burns in his chest and Bucky falls off a train in order to protect his family.

Some of his more… saucy… memories and dreams resurface, and Bucky thinks that Steve Rodgers has, and always will be more than just family. It is at that moment that Bucky is struck with the horrible realization that he has no idea what became of the Captain, and he resolves to go back to Washington. Just to check up.

Two weeks after his decision, James "Bucky" Barnes finds himself in front of a memorial for the world's first Avenger, and he feels like slapping himself. The place is full new and old photos of the Captain covering each and every square inch of the- quite frankly- cramped white room. In most, the Captain is seen doing his "heroic duties" like running into war fronts and saving his fellow soldiers with the Howling Commandos in the background. The others were he surrounded by loved ones, and Bucky swallows hard every time he sees a picture of himself with the famous hero. He hates seeing the look on Steve and his' face. He can see all the trust and love they felt, and he feels like going out and puking every time Steve's eyes look straight into his through the camera's lens. There's a poster talking about their friendship, and as Bucky listens to the recording from the man, reading the text aloud, he finally feels too much and has to leave the room.

"Let me through," Bucky says.

"No. You are not welcome here," the redhead replied.

"Please," Bucky pleads, "I remember him now. Please, just let me see him, I need to fix things."

Something in the redhead's eyes flash, and she glares. "You've caused enough damage, Barnes," she says icily, "I suggest you leave, and don't try to come back."

The hospital door slams in Bucky's face; cutting off one of his only chances to right the wrong he did to his- Steve, the day Hydra fell. Resigning himself to waiting, Bucky returned to the waiting room, where he would continue to wait until he was finally allowed inside.

Three days later, Steve Rodgers was officially pronounced dead, after a significant amount of time spent in a coma. What little knew was that the Captain had been dead since he fell off the hellicarrier.

Bucky never got the chance to visit his best friend's grave until two months later, when he could finally get the chance to be alone. He knelt down in front of the gravestone and shakily traced his hand over the name engraved over the stone, followed by the date of death. Shuddering, he gripped the stone with his human arm, and cried for the first time in who knows how long. He briefly wondered if this is what he had put Rodgers through after he had fallen off the stupid train. Bucky dismissed the thought, because the thought only made the ache in his chest stronger, and his body a little more nauseous thinking that he made his.. his… his… He didn't even know what Steve was to him. All he knew that he did not, for one second, enjoy thinking he put Rodgers through this pain.

_Oh, now you give a damn_ his brain whispered to him. _You killed hundreds without caring. Why do you care now?_

"Shut up," he told himself, clutching the gravestone a little tighter. "It matters because it's him."

Not for the first time, Bucky wondered if he had finally decided to go mad. He suffered through so much brainwashing at the hands of Hydra, that sometimes he wondered if that was all he was: A brainwashed nobody who killed the only person who cared about him as much as he cared about them.

Bucky wasn't stupid. He knew that he has still not failed his mission. Captain America is dead, and now resting six feet under, and the only one to blame was the winter soldier. Himself. The Winter Soldier had killed his only family, and he did it without thinking. Just like always.

Bucky never hated himself more than he did right at that moment, staring at the grave his best friend, comrade, family, and everything else that mattered.

Bucky fondly remembers the only time he ever kissed Steve. It was after Steve's parents died, and before Bucky formally joined the army. Steve had gotten into another fight, and he was so badly injured that he barely registered anything going on around him. Bucky had taken the personal pleasure of taking an eye for an eye, and was quite confident that the cocky bully would know better than to start random fights for no good reason.

Steve was talking nonsense, and had been for a good majority of the time, but had drowsily turned to Bucky, who was watching over the punk to make sure that he would survive the night.

"Buck?" Steve had asked quietly.

"Yeah, Punk?" Bucky had replied.

"Thanks," he had said with admiration, "For being there, I mean. I can always count on you to have my back."

Bucky's breath had hitched into his throat, but he still smiled at Steve. "Always. I'm with you 'til the end of the line, remember?"

Steve nodded, and let his eyes slip shut for a moment. "Hey, Buck?" he asked again.

"What is it this time, Rodgers?"

"I love you. Thank you."

Bucky froze at Steve's side in order to really process what just happened. When he did, he turned to Steve and smiled, and- before he could stop himself- leaned forward and kissed a soft kiss against Steve's lips. He smiled as he replied, "I love you too, Kid. I love you too."

Five months after the death of Captain America, James Buchanan Barnes, AKA The Winter Soldier was found through a series of anonymous tips. He was standing in front of the grave of his old friend. The Winter Soldier was arrested, and put in a high-level security prison, under a sentence for life. The only evidence that would be left of his arrestment would be a single rose on Steve Rodgers's grave with a single note placed inside. It would all be forgotten, until, three years into his life confinement, a single man would walk into the cell room of The Winter Soldier, and no one would ever hear about one of the men ever again.

**A/N: This is just something a good friend asked me to write which sort of launched me back into FanFiction. This is unbeta'd so there's that. Sorry if it sucked.**


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